The Secret to Life


Currently, I am reading a book titled “The Secret,” written by Rhonda Byrne. Released in 2006 along with a movie of the same name, I remembered hearing about it at the time. I am listening to it read by the author, and she sounds as though she grew up in the same neighborhood as Nicole Kidman with a pleasant Australian accent.  At the time of release, the book was championed twice on The Oprah Winfrey Show, a sure shot to success, and it spent 146 weeks atop the New York Times bestseller list. The message is about the law of attraction and subscribes to gratitude and visualization as the keys to successful living. Intriguing and controversial in its message, it has been widely questioned and parodied.

In my own experience, I feel much more connected and in a positive flow with life when I am feeling grateful and make a choice to be pleasant. It is especially helpful to remember to treat everyone with kindness. My day is usually great when I do this.

The book claims that if you act-as-if and feel-as-if you already have what you are seeking, you put yourself on the same frequency as the thing you seek and doing so attracts it to you. The book references other books written over time, and claims that Plato, Newton, Carnegie, Beethoven, Shakespeare, and Einstein knew of The Secret and used its power. In the book are quotes about using faith behavior, including “‘And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive’ (King James Bible, Matt. 21:22)” and, “‘Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours’ (New International Version Bible, Mark 11:24)”.

I don’t know that I can believe everything I have read here regarding believing your way into wealth, health, and relationship success, but it certainly is a good reminder to practice the golden rule and to continue to have faith.

About Renee Bates

Renee is an artist focused on growing a newfound ability to express herself through oil painting, recently leaving her role as executive director of the non-profit, Greenways for Nashville. Renee is inspired by nature and enjoys hiking, birding, and the garden. She contributes to HerSavvy, a blog featuring writings from a group of well-informed women wishing to share their support and experience with others. Married to David Bates of Bates Nursery and Garden Center, enjoying flora and fauna is a family affair.

The Other Side of the Couch – Loss, Again

girl and sky

She called this afternoon.

I knew immediately that something wasn’t right. For days now I have been having a sense of something being wrong – some disturbance in the Force, in the energy that surrounds us all. I had laid it to the time of year, always a challenging one for me. As soon as the cherries bloom, every year, I am back in those unquiet days before my mother’s death, driving back and forth to the hospital, and seeing the most beautiful and radiant of springs unfolding throughout the poignant April days.

I have been aware of being sad, of missing my mother this year in a more particular way. Perhaps as I approach her age at her death, and realize how much more life I wished for her, and how much more life I hope for myself, I am shaken by the gossamer threads that hold us to this planet, this plane of existence. The unexpected lurks, and there is much that we cannot control.

The call telling me that a dear friend, younger than I, had lost his battle with cancer, a cancer that metastasized in the same way that my mother’s had, and that ended in a similar, brutal way, recapitulates all losses. The weight is the same, the heavy leadenness, the what-does-it-matter feeling, the tears always ready to be shed, the questions to which there are no answers.

I grieve for his wife, for his daughters, for my husband, who treasured him as a close friend. I grieve for the circle of lives that he touched, which are myriad. He was a giver. I grieve for the life he didn’t get to live. And yet, I know that he lived life with gusto, with joy, with presence. He appreciated the life he had. He knew that it wasn’t guaranteed. He knew that before the cancer ever came.

So today I am doing my best, in the midst of sadness, to celebrate the life of a special man, who gave much to the world, to his family, to his wife, to his community. He gave the best hugs. His life philosophy upheld and lifted. May all of us be so mourned. His was a life well lived. He will be missed.

About Susan Hammonds-White, EdD, LPC/MHSP

Communications and relationship specialist, counselor, Imago Relationship Therapist, businesswoman, mother, proud native Nashvillian – in private practice for 30+ years. I have the privilege of helping to mend broken hearts. Contact me at